Hello,
As someone who is pursuing full time ministry, there is a definite temptation to seek God purely for Him to bless the ministry. You read the word so that you will have some wisdom to share to whoever you are ministering to. You pray for God to do breakthroughs and start revivals. These are both great things that need to be done by all people pursuing full time ministry, but I think that sometimes we forget the point.
Why are we doing ministry in the first place? What is the reason for all of this effort and toil? What's the point? I have recently been asking myself this question, not in a negative way, but just really seeking God's direction on whether I am truly getting the point of why I am doing what I am doing.
One of the perks of doing the internship is that I am exposed to amazing literature that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. We just finished reading "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer and it was life-changing. I learned so much from his wise and thoughtful words. The biggest takeaway that I have gained from reading the book was that for most of my life I have been missing the point. I have been a believer for most of my life, but I often forget why I am a believer in the first place.
I am not a believer to serve God; I am a believer to be in relationship with God. Jesus didn't die on the cross for me to do the Chi Alpha internship at Tulane. He died on the cross so that I can enjoy constant communion with Father. I often, and I mean often, forget this. The creator of the universe sacrificed His own son, His pride and joy, a piece of His very Self to know me. He didn't want me to ever be apart from Him, so He went to the ends of the earth to bridge the gap. That is powerful and humbling. I am not worth this sacrifice. I am just the creation, something that He has all authority to cast out, but He doesn't. Wow.
I spend most of my time worrying about if I am serving Him right, when I should spend most of my time enjoying the wonderful privilege of HIs presence. I find delight in the fact that I never have to leave it. Many people have enjoyed the rush of peace and joy you get when the worship team at church ushers the Spirit into the service. That is a feeling that we don't ever have to part from. We can be consistently bathed in His love, mercy, grace, joy, and peace.
If you are feeling like your walk with the Lord is burdensome, I want to encourage you to remember that His burden is light and easy. Allow yourself to delight in His presence and let His healing love restore you. He is waiting patiently for you to come back to Him. That's the point anyways right?
Matthew 11:28-30
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Morgan :)
